Ever wondered how will watching movies come in handy when you're suddenly in deep shit?
Highly inspired by Yahoo's list of Hollywood Movie Apocolypse, humankind will now be more
prepared for the end of the world when it comes in whatever form.
...Presenting...
Girls of Bardon's
Guide to Surviving
the End of the World
Cause #1 : Angry toys
Think : Child's Play, Small Soldiers, Puppet Master
What You Can Do : Be nice to your toys and keep them tied and locked up in a SECURED place when not in use (i.e: safe deposit vaults)
Cause #2 : Falling chunks of meteors
Think : Armageddon, Deep Impact
What You Can Do : Avoid living in major cities with easily recognizable landmarks (i.e: NYC's Statue of Liberty, Paris' Eiffel Tower, London's Big Ben, etc.)
Cause #3 : Outbreak of viral infection
Think : I am Legend, 28 Days/Weeks Later, Resident Evil (1, 2, 3)
What You Can Do : Stay healthy to avoid mutation. Eat your vegies and LOTSA Vitamin C.
Cause #4 : Alien invasion
Think : Mars Attack, War of the Worlds, Independence Day
What You Can Do : Build an underground safehouse and stock up on supplies. Don't be an American (aliens seem to prefer them more than Asians).
Cause #5 : Angry Mother Nature / Greenhouse effect / Global Warming
Think : The Day After Tomorrow, Waterworld, The Happening
What You Can Do : Don't piss Mother Nature off. RECYCLE!
Cause #6 : Imaginary freaks and monsters
Think : Stephen King's IT, Nightmare on Elm Street
What You Can Do : Avoid clowns, period. Never piss off a weirdo who might take revenge on your kids in the future. Get Jason to kick Freddy's ass.
Cause # 7 : Zombies
Think : Shaun of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Michael Jackson's Thriller videoclip!
What You Can Do : Do lots of target practise, aiming for the head. Build up stamina on running.
Cause #. 8 : Angry robots
Think : Terminator (1, 2, 3), The Matrix 3: Revolution
What You Can Do : Monitor your iPhone/iPods for any suspicious activities.
Cause # 9 : Angry evil children
Think : Children of the Damned, Children of the Corn, The Omen
What You Can Do : Avoid blonde kids who travel in packs. Also avoid kids with the evil stare regardless of cuteness.
Cause #10 : Satan
Think : Constantine, Devil's Advocate, The Prophecy, The ExorcistWhat You Can Do : Go to church. Invest in Holy Water.
In the end, there is only one important lesson to be learnt here.
Fact : Watching tv IS educational.
So keep watching.
Your life might depend on it.
The End.
